I have always had this idea in the back of my head that I am supposed to be normal. I say it all the time to Craig, “I’m not normal.” “We’re not normal.” “That’s not normal.” Yesterday he was getting frustrated at me for how many times I kept on saying the word, normal.
That inspired me to come and write about it.
What is “normal” anyway? And why do we judge each other? Why, if I am different than you, do not have the same spiritual outlook as you, interests as you, or even look or act the way you do, does that make me abnormal or weird?
I think that we judge others as weird or abnormal because we consider anything alien to our nature, beliefs, or way of living life and being happy to be abnormal. We are constantly judging others according to our standards and filtering life through our own personal experiences. I think that many people truly believe that others think and are created the same way as they are. The truth is that we have no idea how someone else’s mind works. We don’t know what experiences that person has gone through in life, or are going through, and what their relationship is to God or a higher power.
We would like to think that we know something, or maybe we have an intuition about others sometimes, but most often we are only speaking from our own self and our own perceptions and beliefs when we judge others or offer others advice.
I think that it is good to offer advice and that we can speak from our own experiences on things, relate our experiences in life, and share our unique journey and life story. I believe that can be inspiring to others and can even help others to find their own path in life. They may not choose do the same things as us, but sometimes even though we make different choices in life, a lot of our underlying motives are the same. We are often inspired and motivated by others to be our better selves, do good, be kind and generous, and to make healthier more conscious and compassionate choices for ourselves and our world.
I say, take others words of advice and life example with discernment and don’t lose your own self in the process of finding yourself in life. We were each created to be unique, so why seek to be like somebody else and “fit in,” or be “normal”? Why fear the judgement of someone else’s lower self and allow it to rob you of being who you truly are and were created to be?
I have been feeling the weight of judgement a lot by others and myself. The past few months have been a hard test of following my head vs. following my heart. I know that I have the ability to discern what is true for me, but it can also be hard to find that inner truth when others offer advice or I read too many different things and lose myself and true thoughts and feelings in the midst of it, falling into worry, fear, or regret. This pertains to my situation right now with Serafina and also with my ongoing struggle to be myself and believe what I want spiritually, applying those beliefs to my everyday life and sharing my self with the world.
I hate being judged. I hate being made to feel as though I am not “normal,” or that I am somehow lost or in need of others saving because of the way that I choose to live my life and raise my girls. From outside perception, our life is different. Some would say it is “abnormal” or even “weird.” I get asked why I homeschool or what I am going to do about Serafina and why I choose to be vegan or do yoga and exactly what my spiritual beliefs are, and it is hard to find answers to satisfy people like that. They ask in such a way as to belittle what I am doing or shame me into being different for my different choices and that hurts. I know that it shouldn’t, but I feel as though I do not judge others or ask why they do what they do or say, “why aren’t you interested in being vegetarian or vegan? or, “why don’t you homeschool or do yoga?” To me, I feel as though that persons choice is their own and I do not feel it is my place to judge what others do. I just want to live my life and be free to be me without others feeling that they need to judge me or my family or change us. I wish that we could all see each other as individuals and put judgement aside so that we can see that we really are all living our own journey through life and each have our own ways to feel happy and connected with God or spirit.
So, late at night when my mind won’t shut off, these are some of the things that are running through it. I know that for someone with a head like me, I need to write. It feels so good to get the thoughts out of my head so that I can actually sort them out into words and figure it all out. I can share my thoughts and life experiences and hopefully inspire someone who may be feeling and thinking the same things, even though our paths are unique and different. I know that I can’t be the only one who is judged as being “weird” or “abnormal,” so I put it out there and embrace every little bit of it.
Hopefully in sharing, I can connect to other weirdos and misfits and all those beautiful souls who know what it is like to be judged as not “normal.” Those who feel that there is no such thing and have given up trying to be what others would want them to and have instead embraced themselves as who they are, quirks and all.
Thank you so much for sharing. I have a shirt that says “I’m not normal”. I love it! I feel that if being normal is following the crowd and doing what everyone else is doing I know I’m not normal. God created us all different and unique. It would be boring if everyone were the same. I will not stray from what I believe just for someone to think I’m “normal”. Who gets to dictate what normal is?! I enjoy reading your blogs. Thank you do much for sharing!
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Thanks for taking the time to comment here! 🙂
One of my favourite sayings is that normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. And as I’m always telling my daughters, “If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be” (Maya Angelou). Here’s to us all finding what works for us each day – it can change by the minute, but if we’re finding it for ourselves, then we’ll be amazing.
🙂 Agreed! Thanks for your comment!
As we grew up, my Mom would always tell us, “Normal is what you are.” Not in a “You’re the only normal one” kind of way, but more the “Normal is not the same for everyone” kind of way. So true, isn’t it? I’m the most normal me there is!
Yep. That is a good thing to remember! Thanks for your comment Alicia! 🙂
We have to find our ‘own’ normal. As we keep growing, what seems normal to us today might not be normal anymore. Well, who decides normal? A bunch of people who think they are normal. In my eyes they are not 😉.
Be what you are. You are an amazing person. Love you.
Love to you Ritu! Thanks for your encouragement as always! 🙂