Craig and I took a trip to Vancouver last week, Wednesday-Sunday. We went to see Glen Hansard in concert and to just get away for a few days.
This trip went a lot better for me than last year when we went to Vancouver to see Jason Mraz. I felt a bit better about leaving the kids. Last year I worried a lot and last year it was also my first time leaving Serafina.
It is always so dreary coming back to Manitoba from BC. BC is so fresh and lively. There is still green on the trees and since it is a city, there are tons of people around. We also enjoy walks on the sea wall every day when we are there. Here it is plain and flat and pretty boring and our town is so small and desolate. I enjoyed just being around people for a change, even if I didn’t know them, there is something about that liveliness that I enjoy, though I don’t know that I would always enjoy it if I lived there permanently. At least here in Manitoba the sun shines, even when it is cold. In Vancouver, it is pretty much always cloudy and grey, at least when we have been there.
This year, I mostly took pictures of nature and they wouldn’t allow pictures or video in the concert like they did at Jason Mraz. It was a great show though. Here are some of my favorite Glen Hansard songs. His music is very spiritual and uplifting, mostly because he is such a real human and raw musician.
When we got back we had some sad news, learning that Serafina’s child development worker is moving on to another job. We will surely miss her. She was quickly becoming a part of our family. We will miss her here, but wish her the best as she moves on to better things in her world.
These days I feel kind of lost. I have a lot of homeschool planning to do and feel stressed about many things in life, so it is a time when I know that I have to rearrange my life, reinvent myself and do some soul-searching; to just pause and figure out some kind of life plan in my head and what I want for our life together. There are so many people in this house to consider and keep happy, sometimes it can be difficult.
The most difficult thing for me lately is Autumn going through the puberty stage and navigating these waters while trying to remain a good authority figure for her and not getting too emotional in the process because of her attitude and the things she says/ways she acts and the fact that she is not a little girl anymore and that all of my kids are growing up. I am not the type of mother to yell at my kids, so it is hard for me to correct her and discipline her. I like to teach by my actions and example and instill good values and morals in them through the many stories we read and hope that they plant little seeds in them to bear fruit for them when they are older and reach difficult times in their lives.
Also, just worrying about Serafina and always trying to give her the best life possible has me constantly stressed out. She is always on my mind and I am always trying to keep from feeling guilty for not doing enough for everybody in my family. Plus, winter is approaching.
Still, of course, I am happy to be home sweet home! ❤
Live. Learn. Love. Eat. 
I’m really glad you had a nice trip and you enjoyed your time away.
Thinking of you in this time of questions and redefinition. I’m always here if you need to chat.
Much love, Yanic
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Thanks Yanic! ☺
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How wonderful to get away for a few days. I have never been that far west, and do hope one day to get out to BC.
Sorry you are feeling kind of lost right now. I think we all go through that at various points, especially as homeschooling moms. Hang in there, and know I am always here if you need to chat.
xo
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Thanks Kim! 🙂 BC is beautiful! I hope that you do get a chance to go out that way someday.
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With adolescence looming, kids naturally feel compelled to start going their own way. They’re not intentionally being disobedient (well maybe sometimes). But they’re on a path toward ‘individuation,’ when they really try to figure out who they are separate from you. Yes, that can be hard as parents. Especially, when my own daughter took a completely different path from the one I had imagined. In hindsight want she wanted most was my approval to give her that space and a little freedom and love and trust. Many of the seeds that you have planted in Autumn have and will bear fruit. I can already see that. Other seeds will be from Autumn’s own values, thoughts, and world view. We give kids the formula…but they work out the equation and come up with their own answer that suits them. Hang in there, you’ve given Autumn and amazing formula to work out . In the meantime, I’m sure it is good to be home.
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So true Abigail! I know she is at the stage where she is becoming someone different than her mother, father, sisters, and friends. She is beginning to find herself. Thank you for your comment! 🙂
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Life is challenging around this house too. I feel you. Our youngest foster girl Lilou (3) is my daily struggle. I sometimes lay in bed in the morning and don’t want to get up to face that challenge. She is most likely fasd or severe adhd. Before entering this foster world I did not believe in those disorders. Ignoranace to the fullest. I thought I could change it with environment, social exposure, a really good diet. Nope! She has all three and almost seems to be getting worse. Be noticed the challenge stems from her not being from my flesh. It’s so hard for me to muster up compassion on a daily (hourly) bases for a child who is no from my womb. Sooooo eye opening and I have to rely fully on Christ and my spirituality in those incredibly frustrating moments.
Sorry I totally rambled and talked about myself the whole time there 😁. One of those days I guess. Reaching out. Mothers need support from other mothers is what I have also come to realize. Put aside our competitiveness and come together in sheer support and love. I support you friend. Much love xo
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No worries in sharing your experience! It is nice to hear from you! We all face our challenges as parents. We totally need each other and to know that we are not alone in our struggles! Hope things get better for you on your end and that you find the strength that you need to make it through this difficult time! 🙂 ❤
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I was becoming aware of your absence and was a little worried that you had fallen ill again. I’m so glad to hear that you were really out having fun! 🙂 … Too bad that the weather keep showing you our dreary side. I swear it’s not always like that! And when it’s clear, it really is so beautiful… By the way, where did you eat here? If you had told me you were coming, I could have directed you to some good vegan food 🙂
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Where do you live in BC? I knew that you were out that way. Are you in Vancouver? I guess there are a lot of food options! We usually just buy food from Whole Foods because our hotel has a kitchen in it to cook things, which is really nice!
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Not in Vancouver, but I live in what is considered The Greater Vancouver Regional District. I’m 25 minutes to downtown Vancouver via skytrain (30 if you include the walk from my house to the station 🙂 )… Having a kitchen is nice too, and way cheaper than eating out!
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