Pheonyx turned 1 month old on October 9th! It’s hard to believe that time goes so fast!
Life has been pretty stressful because in the first couple of weeks Pheonyx wasn’t gaining weight as fast as he “should” have been and didn’t get up to his birth weight by two weeks old. Instead, it took him until three weeks to surpass his birth weight. He has been weighed about 10 times now. We had the health nurse coming to the house about twice a week and also had to go to the city to see the midwife many times as well to have him checked up on.
Having all of the home visits and my Midwife calling me so often and having to travel 2 hours to the city (there and back) for midwife appointments has had me really worrying about my baby and extremely exhausted. It has been very stressful for me! I felt like my breast milk wasn’t good enough for him and I was worrying I was doing something wrong all the while he never went below losing 10% of his birth weight and the lowest weight that he was was 8 lbs 6 oz. Family kept telling me not to worry, but my midwife really made it out like it was a very bad thing for him.
Last week on Tuesday the public health nurse came back again to weigh him and he was 9 pounds 10 and a half ounces and is continuing to gain weight while I exclusively breastfeed him even though the Midwife told me that I should supplement with formula and begin pumping right away (this was when he was 10 days old) which is something that I had never done before with any of my other kids.
I felt bad going against the advice of my Midwife after the appointment but I just couldn’t bear the thought of having to use formula while breastfeeding had not even really been established yet. I am glad that I listened to my instincts which told me that introducing a bottle at this time would not be such a good idea and that I kept breastfeeding him every 2 hours even though it was exhausting. Now he is doing fine and we are comfortably breastfeeding and I haven’t gone back for any appointments for a while.
Craig went back to work last Monday and I survived a week by myself with the four kids! I was stressed out about it at first and I thought it would be a lot more difficult than it was, but things went okay and the kids were really good. The worst part was (and is) just being so sleep-deprived. I’m really hoping that I can catch up on my sleep now that he’s gaining weight well and I can let him go longer stretches at night without having to wake him up to eat.
The toughest thing about having a new baby is always the mom guilt that you feel when you’re not able to do things with the other kids. At least for me anyway. I miss being able to do more with them but I know that this time will not last forever and that slowly and surely I will be able spend more time one-on-one with each of my kids and get out of the house more and do more fun things together as a family too.
Looks like our boy has red in his hair!
Right now Pheonyx is still so little and is very attached to momma. We have decided it’s best to not go anywhere for a while after all of the stress we had during the first few weeks. I just feel like I really need to recharge myself so that I don’t completely fall apart from exhaustion. I need to just focus on my baby boy. This weekend we also had family come over for Thanksgiving and to meet him, but now I feel I need to just rest.
Autumn and Kesa also started piano lessons last Thursday. This is Kesa’s first year taking lessons and she seems very eager to learn! As soon as she got home from her lesson she went straight to the piano to practice. 🙂
Yesterday, October 10th, was also Autumn’s 12th birthday! We ended up having to go to the city on Friday to sign a form at the birth center for our child tax benefit that we had missed signing and so we also ended up doing our grocery shopping (Craig shopped with the kids while I nursed in the van) and then I took Autumn to buy some clothes for her birthday even though I was totally exhausted. It was nice to take her shopping and make that memory with her. She is happy with her birthday gifts, though we still have yet to make a cake. Once we do I will post pictures of her with her cake too.
Have any other mommas experienced issues with their newborns taking longer than the textbook 2 week mark to regain weight? Or have you ever gone against medical advice to follow your intuition and natural instincts??
Live. Learn. Love. Eat. 
Happy birthday to Autumn! She’s growing up so fast. I’m glad the baby is gaining weight. Sometimes the doctor /midwife can scare us. When my son was 6 months old, he ran a slight fever. I took him to a female pediatrician who asked me if I was trying to kill my baby. He had pneumonia. He was breast fed so he didn’t spit up, had just run a fever that day, wasn’t fussy and there were no changes in his sleeping habits. I never went back to her. I did take him to the emergency room where they checked him in. At least they didn’t berate me. Follow your instincts and he’ll be fine. Just take a look at your beautiful girls! Wishing you happiness and some much deserved sleep.
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Thank you Jacqui! I definitely felt afraid and it’s too bad they do that to us. It almost made me go against my instincts, but I’m glad I toughed it out and just increased his feeding sessions. It definitely has me tired now but I didn’t want anything happening to my little boy. It probably would have been fine regardless, but it’s good that he really caught up, gaining 1.5 oz a day! Thanks also for sharing your story. I’m glad that I had the health nurse come and reassure me that he’d be fine. She was on my side and didn’t recommend starting formula. 🙂
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Congratulations, Tiffany!. Phoenix is a beautiful baby boy….he looks a lot like Kesa. Sweet addition to your lovely family, very happy for all of you ❤
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Thanks Judy! ❤ Most people say they look like twins! We'll have to see if he changes. Her baby pictures definitely look similar in many ways. Hope that you are doing well!
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Wow, I just started rereading your blog after like a 2 year hiatus. You have a beautiful family. My 2nd child took longer than usual as well. We had her at ER for acid reflux at 2 weeks and the dr there (who obviously knew nothing about breastfed babies) was basically saying I was a bad mom bc my baby wasn’t up to birth weight yet, yet my family dr was fine, she was gaining. And even now at 2 1/2 yrs old she’s a tiny girl. Some kids arnt as big, some are bigger. As long as he is gaining weight and stays at the same percentile, I wouldn’t worry. 🙂
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Nice to hear from you and thanks for sharing your story! He’s had no other issues at all, just a slow gainer. I think he will be tall and thin like Kesa and Craig.
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Yea, that’s what it is with my daughter, my husband is tall and thin, so she’s built like him. At 2 1/2, she’s 22 lbs but tall (fitting in 4t clothes a lot of the time) I wish drs and nurses would just get rid of that stupid percentile chart. I know do many parents that think there’s something wrong when there isn’t.
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Happiest of days to Autumn!! And my goodness what a cutie he is, just adorable.
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Thanks Kim! 🙂
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tiffany, i ve been following your blog for a while now – first of all congratulations on your beautiul family and your precious baby boy.
now, i have experienced pretty much all of the above and i would love to share but i am a little worried about leaving such a long comment on your Blog 🙂 let me know if i should or if i should rather email you instead!
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Thank you! Feel free to leave a long comment here or email me, whatever you decide is fine! 🙂
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I am not clear on this new paranoia about baby weight. It puzzles me that doctors and midwives are disregarding science and actually, common sense, by adding to a mother’s stress level when it comes to breastfeeding. Stress, as we know, inhibits milk production for one thing ( so they weren’t really helping) and babies typically take three weeks on average to get back to birth weight. You did the right thing by listening to your instincts. I am sorry that you were made to doubt your capabilities; it must have been so frustrating!! Keep up the good work, your growing family is beautiful!!! I have a couple more weeks to go before we welcome our fifth, third son, so we will be on the tired train together!!
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Happy birthday to Autumn! I’m glad that it worked to increase feedings and he finally started gaining well. That is what I would have done as well. Starting formula can sometimes be necessary, but it is a slippery slope and I totally would have done my best to increase nursing first. He soooo looks like Kesa! What a sweetie, thanks for sharing!
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Glad things have improved. I experienced it with my first. It’s good to have medical help but with every baby I wanted less to have the medical staff involved. It brought extra stress. Mom’s instinct is normally best. You made a good choice to stay away from formula. All the best to you and your family 😊
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