Sometimes I get aggravated when things aren’t going my way or the way I planned them to go for the family as the organizer and director of everything. I think about the things that we have to get done and I get overwhelmed. Things that need to get done around the house, meals that need to be planned and made, appointments we have to go to, lessons I need to teach, grocery lists that need to get made… then there’s the laundry and the dishes and the floors and general messes of everyday life, not to mention keeping little attitudes and habits in check.
Today I talked with my husband about this on our walk. I vented my frustration about how all of these things needed to get done and my stress was mounting. I find I sometimes get into a control mode where I feel like I’m not in control over all that needs to be done and I can’t handle it. I feel like I am failing in my role as a stay at home mother, wife and teacher. It stresses, then depresses me and sometimes gives me migraine headaches too. On our walk I even felt bad for getting out for the walk and losing more time to get the things on my list done, though I knew I needed that time to think and talk it out.
When we came home, I witnessed a beautiful thing. My oldest daughter was working on her science work without me even having mentioned it earlier or prompted her to do any assignments. With highlighter and notebook out, she was making notes and highlighting important things in her binder of work. It blessed my heart to see her taking initiative to get things done on her own without any prompting.
There are so many other wonderful blessings that have been occurring and so many changes in the children for the better without me seeming to have done anything at all to make them come about. At least not all of the things I thought that I should be doing. My son using the toilet on his own, without being asked or told (finally), the girls keeping things more neat and tidy, the kids all spending time outside and less time on media. I was reminded once again of the fact that a lot seems to get done when we just step out of our own way. When we mentally forget about trying to do everything and in our order, with the mindset of control, it just naturally flows.
When we have surrendered these things to God, to a higher power than ourselves, when we admit defeat in our humanness to do it all or control the when, where and how, they are taken care of. When I know that the work that I put in, the guidance and the teaching, the self-work, the loving reminders (and sometimes not so loving reminders) that I have given my children are all working, even, AND ESPECIALLY when I’m not trying to control everything, they are sprouting and growing beautiful things.
Yes, we need to set intentions and pray and plant seeds, but the results will come when the time is right, when we believe in better things to come and stay positive about the outcome of those prayers and intentions and the work that we have put in.
Sometimes, you just have to take a step back and look at the garden of your life and the fruit that is growing. We need to stop pretending we have the real control over everything and allow God to do his part to work things out. While we rest and we surrender beautiful things can and will happen.
Please excuse the incorrect formatting of this post. Sometimes this site gives me issues with not showing spaces between paragraphs.