Human Being

So here I sit once again typing. This seems almost foreign to me as it has been so long since I came into this space of mine. I kind of even like to think of it as a space in my mind really, where I come to reflect and to release. It feels so good to do. For the past few months I really felt the need to get away from the computer, from the external pull, from my lower ego and to spend more time in quiet contemplation and reflection. To really go inside and see what is going on. But truly, I have missed this. This to me is also a huge part of my life. I love to sit here alone with my head and heart and to see what flows from a mix of the two through my fingers and out into who knows where. Whoever you are reading this was meant to read it too, which I think is pretty cool.

I guess for a long time I’ve been thinking it is bad or maybe egotistical to have a blog or anything of that sort because it is kind of all about yourself and my aim in life is always to try and become a better person and subdue that selfish lower nature, rising instead above to the higher self, to the divine and spiritual. I’ve been through so much on my journey and it all really leads me back to this thought really, that there is no duality, only that which exists in our mind. Ever since being a little girl I have had a dualistic mindset. This is bad, this is good. It goes without much thought at all that naturally we gravitate toward doing the good and avoiding the bad. We have sympathies and antipathies and judgements about everything in our own ways and all see the world differently. We have our different upbringings, beliefs, feelings and points of view. We live our own individual personal journey in life. We learn and grow everyday, either consciously or unconsciously. We are human beings. And alas, after much time in quiet contemplation and meditation, I still have a lower ego and selfish tendencies and I am realizing that that is not so much a bad thing, but necessary for me to put up with, learn from and evolve.

Human. That is what I am and that is what want to be. A human being. What is that anyways? I can’t exactly say, but what I do know is that it is awesome. Just thinking that here I am sitting here typing, thinking (or maybe not so much), breathing, digesting, feeling my heart beat and maybe worrying a little about how crazy this all may sound to whoever may be out there reading. All that is pretty amazing when you step back from yourself and your fears and dualities and realize divinity in that. How could being a human being be anything other than a complete and total miracle and completely divine.

Each day I continue to learn and to grow and I know I talk about it all the time, but it is what I am passionate about. I love looking at life that way. Seeing the beautiful, good and true in it. Seeing what I need to learn. Looking back on my ‘mistakes’ and learning the lessons in them. Realizing that life is not slowing down, but always moving forward at what seems like a faster pace everyday. Reflecting back on how I felt and what I feared or placed so much importance on days, weeks, months, or years ago and realizing that those things are so insignificant to me now. Understanding that nothing that I have ever really done got me to where I am right now, that it was all planned from the start to be exactly as it is, in this moment and in every moment. Knowing all that and writing it right now as if divinely inspired through my human intellect and transmitted through my physical instrument, only to be likely forgotten again as I step away and go back into my life where many more evolutionary processes or ‘learning opportunities’ are waiting to mold me and sculpt me into what I am to become. Living life as this human being, ever evolving.

I have so much to write, but now it is getting onto lunch and my head has to get back to reality, whatever that may be. I am still not sure if there is a duality between this intuitive thinking, reflecting reality and making lunch for the family reality. I think that they can both co-exist nicely, but it is easier said than done when you have two really picky eaters and are trying not to get frustrated at something as simple as eating a meal together as a family. Ah life! You are a constant teacher.

So, if anyone is still out there and feels like saying “hi”, please do! I have missed you and the connection that we can make even though miles and miles away. And if you are new to this space, I would love to hear from you too! πŸ™‚

… that is if you don’t mind hearing once again from this human being behind the words on your screen.

Much Love,

tiffany

40 thoughts on “Human Being

  1. Hello to you and your beautiful girls! It’s so good to see you writing again. I’ve missed reading your thought provoking insights. It amazes me how we are all the same and yet so different. Each of us having our own unique view of life. I look forward to reading more from you soon. πŸ˜€

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  2. Now that is weird because I thought of you this morning and wondered if you were alright πŸ™‚

    I like to read of other’s journeys (even their struggles) because we are all the same, we all learn as we go along but we all struggle with ourselves. This is a journey I know too well. I often feel that it is egotistical to blog as well and wonder at my motivations…generally I come down to the sharing of information – if I need it, learn about it and pass it on for anyone else…well, that can’t be a bad thing can it? My second thoughts generally are Am I good enough to bother blogging. Good as what or who?? We are complex beings πŸ™‚
    Welcome back πŸ™‚

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    • Thank you for your comment! I agree that if we feel that we have something positive to give we shouldn’t withhold it from the world or worry too much about what others might think. πŸ™‚

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  3. I find ironic that just today I visited your blog for a recipe knowing you have not been here in awhile and then you blog. You know how I feel about your input to this world. Good to see you here again I have missed you and the girls!

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  4. A lovely essay but two lines disturbed me:
    “Whoever you are reading this was meant to read it too, which I think is pretty cool.”
    “it was all planned from the start to be exactly as it is”
    What gives you the idea that there is some sentient being overseeing everything? All evidence is to the contrary. Yes, the universe exists somehow but that does not mean there is some anthropomorphised creator planning the minutiae of every life. Nature has patterns, but it does not have plans. Everything is random; there is no fate or karma, for better & worse. It is satisfying to believe that good people will be rewarded & bad people punished but, unfortunately, reality rarely plays out that way.

    I can’t imagine whether it would be frightening or reassuring to think that your whole life was part of some grand plan, that everything you do or say, everything that happens to you, has been consciously chosen for you & is all already decided, but either way it isn’t true. One bug gets squished; another flies away to buzz another day – it’s random, not a god at “his” keyboard pressing the “smite” key.

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    • I’m sorry if those lines disturbed you Rowena. If you find them disturbing then maybe you shouldn’t be reading my blog. This is my personal space where I reflect on my personal life. Never once did I mention God in this writing. I am not interested in religious debates. I am comfortable with my beliefs and find that they are ever growing and expanding. Thanks for your comment.

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  5. Beautiful words spoken so poetically and truthful as always Tiffany. I am blessed to know you and to share this experience of life with you friend. God Bless :). ~M

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  6. Hello,

    I have been reading your blog for two years and have never left a comment…but for some reason I felt compelled to do so today. Perhaps, as you said, this comment is meant for this time and purpose. And if it is, then I’m certain you will unearth the meaning of these words written here. My name is Priscilla and I’d like to share what your blog means to me!

    I actually stumbled upon your blog β€œaccidently” one day while doing research for homework for my health class. Unfortunately, I didn’t find any information that I could use (since you mostly have recipes) BUT I did enjoy looking at all of your pictures and seeing your adventures. I found myself smiling. And reading your blog gave me a surprising level of comfort and peace.

    I was not raised a vegan nor a vegetarian, and presently I am neither. No, I spent my childhood eating traditional African American cuisine prepared by a single mother…yet despite the fact that your life and my life is very different…..I’ve loved your blog from the moment that I stumbled upon it.

    What was it/or what was it that drew me back again and again? What was it that kept me reading?

    It was that HUMAN STORY woven throughout your blog. Your struggle with body image, your ups and downs as a mom, your joys, your smiles, your honesty, your struggles, your creativity, your recipes, your spirituality, your good days, your bad days….I have always heard the voice of the HUMAN BEING behind the screen. And through this voice I reflect upon my own life, triumphs, struggles, and joys.

    I come away with a deeper sense of respect for HUMAN BEINGS even if they are different from me. Best of all I get to try out some of your recipes with my 87 year old Grandmother from New Orleans. It isn’t a big step, but I just wanted you to know that someone down here hears ya. Thank you for taking time to share your thoughts. I hope this comment makes you smile…and if it does than it has served its purpose very well for this time and moment in your life and mine!

    Yours most respectfully,

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    • Thanks so much Priscilla! I am very grateful to hear that my writing has given you comfort and peace as a human being. With these types of posts, I don’t ever actually have an intent when I sit and write. As I said in this post, it just comes to me from head or heart or both. I think that type of writing is very therapeutic for me and so I am glad that in reflecting and sharing on my humanness it helps others to know that they are not alone in their thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I wonder if I should keep those kinds of writings to myself and not share them, but I have seen over the years that in doing so many people do relate and that gives me comfort and peace too. Even though our paths in life are all different, at our core we are all much more similar than we know. I suppose that is the human element that I was speaking of. Thanks again for taking the time to comment. Comment anytime. πŸ™‚

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  7. Tiffany, I missed you! I actually kept checking my emails because I thought that somehow, perhaps, maybe I missed an email or notification from your blog. I thoroughly enjoy reading your blogs. They make me smile. I agree with you too about the different upbringings, beliefs etc we have all had. It makes us all interesting human beings. The world would be boring if we all had the same views on life. Take care. Have a good day. πŸ™‚ Renata

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  8. I have been reading your blog for quite some time now but this is my first comment. I love your posts and all your recipes! I show my 3 year old daughter (who is a very picky eater) the pictures of food that you post and she enjoys looking at them, sometimes it even opens her mind to trying something new. I am one of those people who experiences strong winter blues, so I find your posts about what you and your girls do on winter days very uplifting. Please keep blogging!

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  9. Hi Tiffany,

    I’ve been meaning to write to you about your book and give you a big hug for it. It’s beautiful and the recipes and everything fits together so well. We had intended it for one of my sons but I want to keep it and use it too; so torn!

    I’m glad you’ve taken a break and gotten on with “real life” although that can be described in many ways. Being stuck to the computer, feeling like you must post just isn’t easy. When I closed my blog I knew I needed to step away but alas and alack, I found a new way to make money online and it does take some work. Depends on how much work one wants to do or how much time and effort one puts into it. It’s a whole new world for me and has been helping in so many ways. It does perk up my own self-esteem to be able to contribute to our household in a financial way.

    I do hope to see you once in a while, I have missed you, missed your knowledge and heart and admittedly, your lovely family. You’re doing so well and I hope you continue on the personal journey. Write to me if you ever want to vent or anything else.

    Wishing you and all much peacefulness, serenity and harmony

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  10. Hi dear Tiffany from sunny Greece!
    There are people out there from whom you may have never heard but who have been thinking of you all this time and wishing you are fine πŸ™‚
    Be happy, write and live at your own pace πŸ™‚
    Love,
    Panagiota

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  11. Hallo Tiffany,

    ich freue mich das sie wieder bloggen . Ich lese und sehe Ihren Blog sehr gerne und hatte schon ΓΌberlegt ob sie aufgehΓΆrt haben zu schreiben . Doch nun schreiben sie endlich wieder , ich bin glΓΌcklich damit .

    Ich sende Ihnen beste Grüße aus Deutschland .

    Frl. Moon

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  12. sorry . πŸ˜‰

    Hi Tiffany,

    I am glad that she blogging again. I read and see your blog very much and had been thinking about whether they have stopped writing. But now they finally write again, I’m happy with it.

    I send you best wishes from Germany.

    Miss Moon

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  13. I stumbled across your blog randomly some months ago and decided to follow it due to the impact your words had on me. I had all but forgotten about it until this recent post which once again, touched on a topic that Im trying to be more mindful of – the ego and concept of duality between it and our higher spirit. If for nothing else than knowing someone else is working to understand & work with this idea, your post resonated with me. Looking forward to more. Thanks. πŸ™‚

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