A very important thing to me, and something that I am ever conscious of in my life is the example that I set for my children. I know that actions speak louder than words and that preaching means nothing to them, especially without a sound and solid example to back it up.
I am aware that they are watching me; learning from every word, action, and reaction. Edifying, but at the same time, completely terrifying. The spotlight is on us 24/7 as parents to our children. We are the example that they look up to. We are the answer to the question they live and breathe of how they are to be when they grow into adulthood.
Today I wanted to reflect upon how I parent in the awareness that I am that example to which they aspire to imitate. I hope that this reflecting will also help you as a parent (or model to young children) to also reflect on your own character in front of the young ones who innately look up to you.
I want my children to be their authentic selves, so I strive to be my authentic self, embracing my quirkiness and my occasional down feelings as a part of this human experience.
I want my children to know that love isn’t perfect, and so I make up with my husband after a quarrel and model forgiveness and acceptance of others faults.
I want my children to be caring, so I show my loving kindness for the planet and the animals by choosing to buy organic, recycle, pick up trash, get outside every day and only take only what we need from our earth mother.
I want my children to be grateful, so I model that in the way that I take care of what we are blessed to have and verbally express my gratitude and positivity frequently.
I want my children to know that it is ok to have a treat and to not develop fears around eating, so sometimes we enjoy “junk food,” like pizza, candy, or ice cream.
I want my children to believe that there is good in the world, so I read them stories of great events, people and characters.
I want my children to be good mothers, so I love them with every ounce of my being and take care of my angel with autism with a loving, grateful heart.
I want my children to be good wives, so I take care of our home, by trying to keep it tidy and cooking and baking things from scratch.
I want my children to be creative, so I let them pursue their artistic hobbies and read books they enjoy.
I want my children to be confident and believe that they are beautiful, so I let them wear their hair the way they like and dress how they want to.
I want my children to be healthy, so we go for walks and swim together and they watch me do yoga.
I want my children to be accepting, so I expose them to and have love for all races and religions.
I want my children to be smart, so I allow them freedom of thought and don’t tell them what or how to think.
I want my children to have faith in a higher power, so we say our prayers.
A few years ago it was more of a struggle for me to be myself. Now that I am getting older and wiser and have had more experience being a mother, it flows so much more naturally.
I find that I compare myself less to other women and mothers and accept that we all are each unique, with our own unique ways of being and mothering. In this awareness, I also don’t take it personally when someone judges me as a woman or a mother, because they do not know what it is like to be me, or to walk a day in my shoes, nor I theirs.
I still have so many fears about being a mother and doing all that I want to do with and for my girls, but I am accepting that I can never do everything and I can never do things perfectly. I know that it is the striving that counts and the effort that I put into it, even if some days most of the effort is in my thoughts, just trying to keep my mind on my blessings and on positive things because I have zero energy or motivation to actually do anything and especially don’t want to beat myself about it.
These childhood years will fly by fast and I know that I can never get them back. I for one want to make the most of them.
What about you?