Throughout life we pick up on others’ judgements, others’ perceptions of us. We are told things, our simple observation of human behavior molds our sponge-like minds. The outside environment shapes us. From childhood, the voices of others become our inner voice.
What are some of the beliefs that we might have about ourselves? What is the untrue inner voice (voices of others, past or present) saying to us that is not our authentic, God-endowed being’s voice? You’re not good enough. You are wrong. You are stupid. You’re crazy. You’re weird. You are a loser. You are unattractive. You aren’t enough. You have never been enough. No one cares about you. You are alone. You can’t do this or that. You shouldn’t have done this or that. You can’t trust yourself. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You aren’t significant. You are a failure. You’re weak. You have nothing to contribute. You can never overcome this.
Certain life situations, perhaps our upbringing or certain people in our life have impressed these voices in us repeatedly by the way they have treated us and/or the way they have spoken to us, and maybe even still treat us or speak to us.
So what can we do? How can we be more self aware and rooted in our faith in God and identify more closely to the truth of who we are and embrace all of our quirks and unique abilities, or our shortcomings or wrong doings of our past? How can we become free from that which never came from God or was true of who and what we are?
A helpful exercise is to sit and pray for guidance and understanding of what our blockages may be to our authentic selves. After sincere, intentional prayer, we meditate, silently receiving guidance from spirit to understand what our inner dialogue is and has been. In silence we will gain understanding in visual images (memories) of past events, or remembering the words that stuck like thorns into us and have remained in us since, crippling us and keeping us wounded and stuck, unable to live our lives authentically and in our God-given purpose. We may also get a glimpse into our future self and purpose, direction on what lies ahead for us in the form of a vision or an inner knowing.
Since I am a writer, I take to pen and paper or type out many things and I recently found myself doing this exercise which I felt may also be inspiring to someone else who has felt stuck and mired down, inner truth drowned out by lies and negativity.
Acknowledging these thoughts for what they are and understanding where they came from, from there we can simply let them go. Once light has been shone on the darkness, it becomes dispersed in the light of truth. It can not continue to keep us in the shadows. Our lives will begin to change once we become conscious of what thoughts have been dictating our lives. It may even seem silly how simple this can be after we have lived weighed down and immobile for so long and then suddenly everything changes.
It is a very liberating experience to be able to separate yourself from the thoughts that are running your life, consciously and subconsciously. A lot of how we behave and treat ourselves and others really has a lot to do with what beliefs we hold inside of ourselves. And most of it is learned. Most of our negative thoughts, our low self-esteem was never originally our own but taught to us or instilled in us by others. We may have dreams and plans, hopes and ambitions for our lives but if we never uproot and unveil some of the deep roots of thought-forms that dictate our behavior and the way we live, think and act, then we will never go very far in stepping into who we wish we could be or step into a grander life that we sense or know awaits us.
Have you spent time lately alone with yourself and naked in spirit before God? I encourage you to take that time, no matter how brief and to find newfound strength, renewing your mind with enlightenment and casting off that which was never meant to be yours to carry. Know also that I am right beside you in figuring everything out, casting off the old and putting on the new. Dying to my selfish, human nature and finding rebirth in spirit as often as I can as I humble myself to be a seeker, student and teacher.