Seeing (Through Teary Eyes)

Billie Holiday playing on the speakers. Rain pouring and grey skies outside. Boxes all around. Empty shelves. An echo becoming more apparent in this big old place.

Yes, it is a melancholy feeling right now. Bitter-sweet, really, knowing that we are officially moving out of here soon. I won’t lie, I have finally shed a few tears today. Autumn asked me if I would be sad and a few weeks ago, I said, “no”, but now I am feeling it, the flood of at least a few hundred memories running through my mind. (The grey skies and Billie Holiday music don’t help.)

I got pregnant with my third child here. My sweet Serafina came home to this house. I breastfed and slept with her in this home. I made a cookbook here in this kitchen. Autumn and Kesa grew five years in this place. I am really seeing now how beautiful every door frame, window, and every part of this house really is.

- 148
May, 2010

- 172 - 213


But, alas, a chapter is ending and a new one is about to begin.

It is times like these when you really stop and see. You remember all of the little things you forget about on a daily basis. You notice and appreciate things you never took notice of before, at least not often, or nearly often enough.

A break-up, a death, a child who has grown up, a friend or family member who has moved away, or cut you out of your life; these things all force us to really see.






I remember when we first moved to this town and I used to admire this house when we would drive by. I used to imagine having kids here and raising our family. My dream came true. One day we heard that this place was for rent, and a few prayers and hopeful thoughts later, it was ours.

This situation is similar. I always admired our new home as well. Although it does not have as much character as this place, it does have a beautiful yard and is a newer home that has just a main floor and a basement. After agreeing and deciding that we wanted to move, a few prayers and hopeful thoughts later, we have got this home as well.

I will cherish the memories we made here and I am thankful right now for this moment to be reminded once again to count my blessings and to keep my spiritual eyes open every day. We had an awesome life together in this place and we will have an awesome life in our new home. We will make new memories as life keeps whirring on by.

Tonight I am filled with a sense of gratitude as we say goodbye to all of the memories we have created in this place.

And I think it looks as if the sun is back to shining now! 🙂

Food for thought: What are you grateful for tonight? What in your life right now is something you feel you have forgotten to be grateful for and in awe of?

This very life is a precious gift. I bet you are more blessed than you feel most days. Remember to keep your eyes open! You never know when a chapter is about to end.