Well, I can say that today I almost feel normal. This pregnancy is sure not very pleasant. Most days I have been so super nauseous that I hardly move. I know that is also due in part to my regular eating of crap. I do mean crap! Crap like packaged cookies and fast food french fries and diet pop. I even had some caesar salad, yogurt and a grilled cheese sandwich because I thought it might help me feel better, but then I just got really sick. I know I planned on sticking to a healthy vegan diet, but somehow between the moodiness and the laziness, I caved and had the crap. I would never have even thought of putting such garbage in my body, but now I have seen what it has done to me and I started eating right again and am feeling 100% better. I guess I was just not at all in the mood to cook with how tired I was feeling and now I am putting more effort into my diet and making healthier choices. I also noticed that I need to eat a lot more these days and a lot of hearty dishes. One thing I particularly enjoy is tofu salad, which makes me nice and full and gives a good dose of protein. We have also been having pizzas with the new vegan daiya cheese. I especially enjoy pineapple on my pizza these days.
Yoga days and long walks in the sunshine seem like a dream. I haven’t felt much like exercising the past couple weeks, but I have been trying to make an effort to do it whenever I feel like I can, which is 2-3 times a week. Even if I just take a short walk around the block I feel a lot more energetic. I remember from this post my theory about how eating crap and thinking crap making you feel like crap, it just seems so hard to do what I really want to do and take care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually these days. I felt really bad even considering switching to a vegetarian diet and having those animal foods because I really wanted to have a vegan pregnancy, but I also know that I am here to live and learn. There is no such thing as being perfect and I am happy to admit that I make mistakes. If I didn’t how would I ever learn anything? In a way I am glad I had the experience of reintroducing these foods to my body because I got to see how healthy that I am on a vegan diet and how bad those foods make me feel. What I have learned and am still learning is to let go of my perfectionism. It has been with me forever and just keeps appearing in my life in different forms. I know I need to let go of my desire to do things perfectly and not get down on myself for not meeting my high standards.
On another note, we made the not so easy decision to send Autumn back to school and she started today. With me being pregnant now and having a baby we figured that the best thing would be to send her to school. It was a hard decision to make because I really wanted to do homeschooling (perfectionist speaking), but I know that this is the best choice for her. I am thankful for that time we got to spend together and was also reminded of how you have to appreciate every moment because life is constantly changing. She was so excited to go to school again today she was up super early, packing her bag and picking out her clothes. I brushed her hair and made her banana pancakes and it was just like nothing ever changed. I am feeling more human and am going to start on some new recipes and get back in the kitchen again too! Life is looking back on track! 🙂