What comes to mind when you think of forgiveness? Usually the first thing we think of is someone who has wronged us and who maybe we still harbor bad feelings toward, the people we may still need to forgive.
This is very important but there is also another aspect to forgiveness and that is of self-forgiveness. If you think of the obstacles to why you aren’t living authentically as yourself or what obstacles are in your way to joy and freedom you will notice that unforgiveness toward yourself is likely an obstacle.
How much guilt do you hold even unconsciously over things you did or didn’t do in the past? Maybe you feel like your feelings don’t matter. Maybe you’re too busy taking care of others needs (especially us parents) or are distracted with work that you don’t realize that every day there is this block of guilt and resentment toward yourself in the way of your joy and freedom. A block put there by you, yourself.
It can be so easy to look outside of ourselves and blame everything and anyone else for the reason we are unhappy or feel unsatisfied with our lives. It’s a little more difficult to look inside of ourselves and become aware of the obstacles that we place in our own path, or choose to simply remain unconscious of.
Today I realized I still hold a lot of unforgiveness toward myself and I realized why is because of anger. I am angry with myself. There is always anger behind unforgiveness.
You want the other to feel your hatred and unforgiveness. You want them to be responsible. But truly, this does more harm to yourself than it will ever do to the other. They may be completely oblivious to your hatred, resentment and anger and be happily living their life as you sit there feeling the toxic effects of your anger every day in some way while it lives on in you, either consciously or even subconsciously.
The same goes for our anger and unforgiveness toward ourselves. We stay mad at ourselves for things that we feel we should or shouldn’t have done or could have done better. We stay angry for not making a different choice at the time and we choose to not just learn from our mistakes, grow, rise above and forgive ourselves and let the past go. Instead, we live a little deadened inside, a little untrusting of ourselves in the now based on choices we’ve made in the past.
Today, look inside of yourself. Recognize where you have obstacles to your joy around unforgiveness. Forgive others for your sake as much as theirs. Understand that holding angry, resentful, hateful, jealous vibrational energy does no good for anyone at all and is not something you want to exist as an obstacle to living your life fully, nevermind take to the grave.
Forgive yourself for whatever you have done or failed to do the past. Stop talking to yourself in harsh words, dealing with yourself in anger. Instead, choose to simply let it go and be transmuted by love and total forgiveness.
Learn from your anger and unforgiveness and live in the light that you are a new being every time you choose to forgive. A huge weight is lifted and you and those around you become a little more free.
Have a blessed day!