I often fall into the comparison trap as I have mentioned before but one thing that really gets me is how most blogs make their lives out to be so perfect. Reading and following blogs can be a dangerous thing, tempting the reader to compare themselves to the blogger and wish if only my life were that perfect. I will admit I find myself doing this too. I often have found myself comparing my life and my blog with other food blogs and homeschooling/parenting blogs. Everything can look so perfect and can make you feel like absolute crap for not having the ‘perfect’ kids or for not being the ‘perfect’ mother, wife or blogger. I used to torture myself with this all the time, then one day a light bulb clicked and I thought that if those people are taking so many pictures and spending so much of their time blogging about their lives I had to wonder how much they are really living them.
This is the trap of the blogging world for both readers and bloggers. When I started out blogging my intention was always to be real and to write about my life, good, bad and ugly as I strived toward more inner peace and happiness. I needed an outlet for all that was going on within me and a place where I could hopefully find people who could relate to what I was going through. I was tired of seeing people being phony and wanted to be real and find out who I really was. Lately I have had to admit to myself that as my subscribers list grows and I see how many people are actually reading and relating, I have been more afraid of being myself and have sometimes felt the need to hold back and put up a front. I have had to ask myself at times how much am I really living and enjoying my life? Since the birth of Serafina I have taken longer absences from the blog and have tried spending more time with my family and not so much time on the internet comparing my life to other bloggers or spending so much time on mine.
What I have found is that for myself as a blogger it really is about balance. I think that life is not just about any one thing but everything. I like to post about recipes, crafts, helpful tips, environmental issues and parenting and I also like to post my thoughts and feelings and some spiritual stuff as well. All of these different things make me who I am and this blog is to reflect me as a whole person. I also have become OK with not posting everyday because I feel that the people who really like to read it will still be there if I need to take a break from time to time.
For the readers and followers of blogs I think that it is important to know that on most of the blogs you read you are only seeing one aspect of their lives and not the whole picture. You are seeing the good and the pretty but not behind the scenes. You are comparing yourself (most likely the weakest aspect of yourself) to someone else (most likely their greatest aspect). It is a game that you can never win.
Why not just be you and take a look at yourself and what you are good at? Instead of always having to see what other people are doing and following in their footsteps why not ask yourself what feels right for you and what you know in your heart that you should do? Don’t get me wrong, I think that it is great to read blogs or books, have facebook and the whole world-wide web. There are so many ways to connect with people, an array of opinions and so much knowledge at our fingertips which can be both a blessing and a curse. That is why I believe that it is so important to be mindful of what we are taking in. If you find yourself going to the same sites day after day only to feel bad about yourself afterwards or taking things into your consciousness that really don’t sit well with your soul why not just stop? There is no worse feeling than comparing yourself to anyone because it is an ego driven game that will always result in unhealthy and more importantly untrue thoughts about who you are.
You are unique. You are awesome. You are YOU. Comparing yourself to anybody else and trying to change who you are will never work because you were only created to be you. Trying to be anything or anyone else will never feel right and never bring you real happiness.
The question then is how can we even know who we are if we are always filling our consciousness with external stimuli and taking in other people’s thoughts and opinions? We need to periodically take some time to cleanse our consciousness and detox our minds from the conditioning of the world. Turn off the T.V., computer and cell phone. Stop reading the paper or other opinionated writings. Spend more time with yourself and your mind and find out who you are and what you believe.
I try to do a consciousness cleanse from time to time and it always makes me feel better. I come back to the world grounded, refreshed and confident in who I am. My mind calms down and I feel less fearful of what people think of me and worry less about what other people are doing. I don’t even feel the need to compare my life to others because I am reminded of who I am and what I think and believe and I like me.
Take some time to detox your mind and cleanse your consciousness from time to time. Remember that you can’t believe everything that you see, hear, watch or read and that you are often not seeing the complete reality. Spend some time with yourself and your mind and get to know and love you because you will always have to live with yourself.
I am ending this post today with a quote that I like:
“You will always have to live with yourself, and it is to your best interest to see that you have good company — a clean, pure, straight, honest, upright, generous, magnanimous companion.” – Orison Swett Marden