I hate it when selfishness gets me and I become spiritually sick. In these times all that I hear are negative thoughts and the longer I allow them to sit in my mind, the more clouded it becomes. I lose my ability to be positive and my actions become mindless. It doesn’t matter what I am doing I just can’t seem to find any satisfaction for my soul. I feel empty and keep reaching out to things to fill my emptiness. Although I no longer use make-up, clothes or other people’s opinions of me to fill this emptiness I still use not so material things to fill myself like my yoga, walking, the state of my home or my parenting. I have felt so down these days and have created so much suffering for myself because of all of the attachments I have. Things have been challenging these days and nothing seems to be going the way I want it to so I have been learning A LOT about myself.
This morning on my walk I had this thought for myself which is true for everyone YOU ARE NOT EMPTY! It was such a relief to even hold that thought for a minute as opposed to all the negative ones that I have had lately and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. I realized that I just have just been living with a super-flawed belief system. If I changed my belief from thinking that I need to add anything to myself to fill my emptiness to the truth that I am complete already and that there is nothing that I could possibly do to add or take away from being complete and created perfect in love then I really would never have anything to worry about. I wouldn’t be stressing myself out so badly and wishing things were different. I could relax and enjoy my life moment by moment.
A lot of people take on a spiritual outlook but still suffer. They have their faith but deep down there is still an emptiness. We live in a world that tells us all the time that we are lacking. We grew up with this mentality that something ‘out there’ is going to bring us happiness and ‘fix’ us. We need to go to school and get good grades to be ‘good’. We need to get a good job, to be somebody, to get married, to be attractive and successful. We are conditioned to believe that we need so many things to fill our perceived emptiness that we spend our whole lives trying to ‘fix’ ourselves so that we can finally find the peace and happiness that we so desire in our lives.
Each and everyday I continue to watch my thoughts and learn a little bit more about myself and what truly makes me happy. I have realized that although I let go of many past attachments and taken on a more spiritual outlook in my life, I still have times when I feel empty and attach myself to things and create suffering in my life. I have attachments to less material things now but an attachment is still an attachment. With attachments everything seems fine once you have that thing that brings you a feeling of temporary satisfaction and ‘fills’ you but once it is gone you perceive and believe that you are empty and so begin a search to attach yourself to something else.
This is not to say that things are bad. Of course you want to have relationships, a home and a job. You want to be a good person and feel satisfaction and accomplishment. Things in themselves are not a problem, rather it is our attachment to them. How much more would we be able to enjoy our relationships and all the beautiful blessings that we have if we didn’t rely on them to complete us and bring us happiness. Happiness first and foremost must come from our belief that we were created perfect in love and that we are here to love and to be loved. That is what I have discovered brings real true happiness. Living a life always thinking of ourselves, being selfish and looking only to gain will always create suffering and will never lead to a peaceful satisfying life.
Today I challenge the belief system each of us holds to some degree that says that we are not complete and perfect just the way we are and ask you the following questions.
- What if you weren’t empty inside but were created perfect in love and there was nothing that you could do to add or take away from that?
- What if you didn’t need to worry but could just relax and enjoy your life and everything in it?
- How would you live your life differently if the above were true for you?
- What are your attachments and why do you think that you need them?
- Where did this belief come from?
Life really is beautiful and things really are perfect even when they seem to be anything but. Everything happens for a reason. Every person in your life is there to teach you something about yourself and to help you to grow. YOU are already perfect and loveable just the way you are. You are not empty or lacking in any way. Today let love in and enjoy a worry-free day knowing that this is true for you and everyone that you meet. Repeat daily and enjoy an awesome life! 🙂
Light and love to you all,