Being Me

I have been thinking a lot these days about who I am and what to do with my blog. I sometimes wonder if I should start another blog to write my thoughts and express my spiritual stuff on and leave this one as family and recipes, but then I feel like this is my space. This is my life. This is me.

I am not just interested in food and coming up with recipes. I am interested in other things too. I am deeply interested in spirituality and meditation. I love to exercise and do yoga. I value my health. Not only my physical health, but mental and spiritual as well. I am a mother and a wife and I strive to find balance in all these areas.

Sometimes I am excited, sometimes solemn. Sometimes deep in thought or enveloped in fear. I worry (too much), I reflect, I am grateful at times or sad at others. I am a mother. I am a wife. I love my family and making memories with them. I love to eat. I regret eating too much. I judge myself (too much) and am an extreme perfectionist. I can be silly or serious. I love to dance with my girls to Ace Of Base, Hall and Oates or groovy 70’s music. Kesa loves ELO and Autumn is the little ballerina. I am a human and I experience and share all of me and my life here.

I actually love this space that I have created. I guess I just fear that maybe it is not ordinary or that I am weird. I worry that people might judge me for not being one way or may not be interested in all the different aspects of my person. I worry that maybe it isn’t really OK to be so candid. Like I should chose to focus on one thing and blog about just that or make my life out to seem a certain way.

Then I have to ask myself why I should even care. Why shouldn’t I just be me in my space? I am not here to be somebody else just to please them. I am here to be me and I am here to live a life that I love and be the best me I can be, especially for my girls. I don’t want to waste my time worrying about what somebody  ‘might’ be thinking.

I know that what I really need to do is worry less about trying to be something or somebody or about impressing people. For some reason it is just really hard for me. I have always been self-conscious, but being real is something that I value deeply. When I was younger, I used to look around at people and I could just tell that they were being fake. I always felt that I didn’t fit in because I tried for so long to be that way when inside I just wanted to be me. I kept myself in such a miserable bubble by trying to fit in and stop myself from thinking deeply, questioning my beliefs and knowing my mind because it seemed that others were just content never having such thoughts or aspirations.

Becoming vegan was a giant step for me to begin questioning what society would have me believe vs. following my heart and finding and living my truth. Now I seem to be on a never ending quest for more and expanding my consciousness every single day. I don’t believe that one can ever arrive or reach enlightenment. There is always more. This journey that I find myself on is magical really. Both fascinating and rewarding.

Since becoming vegan and beginning to follow my heart, I have also strived to be honest. I think being fake is hurtful and deceiving and a waste of existence really. I don’t want to pretend. Not only for the sake of others, but for myself. I want to be true to myself and see my life for all that it is and all that I am and embrace every little bit of it. The light and the dark. The good and the bad. The beautiful and the ugly. The ups and the downs. It is all me and it is all meant to exist. To take it to another level is to also begin to embrace others in this same way and truly see through the eyes of love.

Even sitting here now I wonder if I should be posting another post in one day, but why not? I feel like writing and I have this opportunity, so I am going to! For me because I need to process these things and this is the space I created for doing so. This is my journey. My collection of thoughts and memories that I have to look back on.

For those of you who do actually take the time to read all these ups and downs and who feel connected to me and enjoy my journey, I thank you. You really do mean a lot to me even if I don’t really know you or you have never left a comment, I consider you my friends. I believe that if you are here and are reading these words that we are in some way connected and meant to cross paths in this lifetime and so I am grateful to have you in my life.

🙂

19 thoughts on “Being Me

  1. I think the way you post is just right. I like being surprised when I visit your blog. One post will be about your thoughts, the next about your kiddos, then more with intriguing recipes. The variety keeps me coming back. 🙂
    Oh and I’m with Kesa, I love ELO! I also have a thing for groovy 70’s music.

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    • We have a 70’s playlist with all the billboard top 100 songs. I have been listening to it for months now. The girls put it on nearly everyday and dance to it. That is why they came up with the ‘tofu bacon my heart’ song. lol. We also have an ELO DVD that Kesa enjoys watching. One time Craig had it on and then he was done, so he went to turn it off and she yelled ‘Hey! I was watching that!” So funny!

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  2. So true. I have two blogs, one for recipes, and one as a diary. Sometimes I get confused and post something on the wrong one^^ but you are right. Life is not about categorizing. And the people who do that never seem to be happy. Life is always everything 🙂

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  3. Your blog is like visiting a friend; warm, welcoming, and honest… Thank you for writing and sharing your recipes and crafts, and your thoughts and feelings, your joys and also your frustrations. It’s beautiful.

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  4. I totally agree with the “fake” thing. I try to be me all the time…but it is sort of weird how certain circumstances bring out the “fake” in a person…sometimes it’s just insecurity, I guess. Well, maybe always. It helps me to think about it that way, too, when I observe “fake-ness” in others. It has often been VERY aggravating for me. But, they’re probably also struggling and needing deep and true encouragement.

    I like the balance of your blog. It’s the balance of YOU. You’re not JUST food and recipes but you’re also not just yoga and meditation. You’re a lovely mix of all of it. We have to talk again one of these days. I see you out so often but never actually meet up with you.

    Oh, and thank our God for the rain that has washed away the goose poop!! The river walk is nice again. 🙂

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    • Thanks Alicia! I think that is insecurity and not knowing who we really are/being afraid of being our true self. I think that it would also help and encourage others if we did stop pretending and were being ourselves because then it inspires others to be themselves too. I am glad that there is no more poop, but now I will have to think of another game to keep the girls entertained. Autumn and Kesa miss the geese so badly now that they are gone. 😦

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    • Definitely agree Ann. If you would have known who I was before the blog, I have changed so much and become so much more confident in who I am. Writing and reflecting here in this space has helped me to really find myself and to start to love myself too. I also value the connection I find here and the encouragement you readers bring. Thank you. 🙂

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  5. Hi Tiffany, I am happy to be nominating you for a Sunshine Award. Kindly check out my own post, ‘The Sunshine award’ (May 7), for more details. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts and inspirations. Keep up the great work!!
    Namaste ~ TW

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  6. Why don’t you blog about whatever you want, but just put them into a small number of categories? And you can list it in the title. An example would be, “Categories: Meditation, Spirituality, Food, Family, Self-Reflection”. Then when you write something related to the category, you can focus your post on only that subject (this can also help organize your thoughts from a jumbled state, to a more coherent state, and it can help with self-reflection!). In the title of each post, you can put, for example, “Spirituality: How I’m Re-learning Humility”. Just a thought. 🙂

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    • Funny, I was just thinking about how I have to organize the categories better. When I started blogging I just kind of added categories and I see that it has got pretty crazy long. I just haven’t found time to do that. Thank you for the suggestion Shannon! 🙂

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  7. You’re welcome. I also think it will help with the readers you have. If we can just read the title and instantly know what category it’s about, those who are interested in the category can know if the post will interest them, and those who aren’t can skip it until you post about the category they like. 🙂

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  8. What a relief to find your blog. You are writing stuff I think about and only talk to my therapist about. Thank you.

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  9. Really well put Tiffany. I think your thoughts on blogging relate to real life for most of us. It’s so important to stay true to who we are. We only get one shot at this life, so how wonderful if we can leave an honest impression of who we are and what we strived to be xx

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